I’m so sad & I don’t know why I’m sad. My dad didn’t say goodbye to me this morning. I feel like I keep getting hassled about my school work and my grades and my work and money and I don’t feel like I can do what I want to do I feel restricted and I feel like my house is not a home all the time and it upsets me. When it comes to having somebody to talk to I do have friends. Brookelynne and George and my friend Uriah and a bunch of other people do listen to me and they talk to me but its not like I always come out about my family problems, not that I have a lot. I don’t really like bringing my friends into my home life. It is not a good mix for me and I don’t feel like people should be involved with what’s going on at my home. I feel kinda bad because I don’t feel like I can speak openly to my friends about my problems and that is a problem in itself but a lot of people do not understand what I’m going through. This is difficult for me. My whole life I’ve been raised to live off of what I have and not take anything from anybody and now I feel like I do not deserve to receive anything from anybody. I can blame a lot of reasons for people or other things that could be the cause of this but I feel like we all know what the cause of how I am is. I miss doing YouTube videos. I miss hanging out with my friends and kind of doing what I wanted to. I miss being happy. I don’t really like that I feel so constricted in what I do it makes me mad. I feel like my house is a prison and when I leave I don’t want to come back. I’ve been listening to The Weeknd recently. And in the song “twenty eight” he says ” this house is not a home to you.” it’s the very first line in the song. I relate to that on a deeper level. Because it’s sort of true. I don’t feel like I belong here.